As parents, we all often are called to make sacrifices. We have to juggle various things at all times all while thinking about how to be the best parents we can be for our children. There were so many things I thought I would never do as a parent but then came along Carson. Things that I swore to my best friends that I wouldn’t do. But now – yep, I have to raise both my hands and say, I do these things. In my defense, I realize now how much I have to think about my future and the future of my child. There are so many things pulling us in all different directions. From work, to friends, to our kids play dates, to date nights with our spouse and going to church – it can be really hard to be an adult sometimes!
It seems that we have a culture today that wants us to hate each other for our lifestyles or life choices, including motherhood shaming. Yes, mother shaming! When I was in my 20’s, I thought I had it all figured out when it comes to parenting. Oh boy, was I wrong about that. I would remind people that I have my degree in childhood development – I knew it all. How stupid was I?!
I think that there is a double standard for women.
If you are a stay-at-home mother, good for you! You probably have heard how lucky you are. You know, since you probably just hang out at the house all day. But aren’t you worried about your career? Can you really just pick it all back up after your kids are grown? Are you a Pinterest mom? Or sometimes you hear the classic response “you are so lucky to have a husband that lets you stay home with your children.” These people need to just shut up! The fact is, you have no clue how or why this family came to the decision for her to be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe that mom is crawling up the walls. Or needs someone to talk to besides her children. Maybe it’s only for a short season of her life. Or maybe this has been a dream she has had since she was a little girl.
To the mom that works outside of the house – good for you! After bringing Carson home, it took me six weeks to fine my shoes! Moms that work out of the house, I know you hear are questioned about “how could you do this to your children.” Or “how do you juggle a career and children at the same time?” These people have no idea how hard that decision to go back to work was for you. And again, these people need to just shut up!
One of my very close girlfriends has told me in the past that she feels that she needs to work outside of the home in order to be a better mom. That statement could be very true of a lot of moms out there, but they feel so guilty for even desiring to work outside the home that they won’t say anything to their significant other.
How about the mom that has both hats in the circle.
These ladies are working outside the home part-time and staying at home with their babies part-time as well. This might just be a mom who is looking for some adult interaction. So maybe they are in networking companies like Plexus. Or maybe they want to have a small business to run when their children start school. There are some great networking companies out there for this mom. And I’m so glad that I get to talk about some amazing products that have changed my life for the better.
Why is our culture telling us that we have to pick choose – to be a mom or have a career? Then, if or when you choose to be a stay-at-home mom, many other women stick their nose up in the air in judgement because they have chosen to be working moms. Holy guacamole! It’s sad that it happens, but mom shaming does exist. And on the other hand, stay-at-home moms will judge working moms just the same. Very sad.
Why are we pointing fingers at one another and judging?
Have we not heard the saying “walk a mile in my shoes, then you can tell me what I need to do?” As women, we need to encourage one another, regardless of the choice each is making to be a stay-at-home mom or a working mom.
So how about it?
Can we agree to quit mommy shaming each other and support all moms that are in need of help?
Please make sure to share what you think, or what your experience has been, in the comments section below!