There’s an old saying that God gives you only what you can handle and nothing more. But that’s a really hard statement to accept when you are going through a storm and can’t see God’s hand guiding your decisions. What if you feel like God has, in fact, given you more that you can handle?
Two weeks ago I was a roller coaster of emotions with our little man.
Carson has faced more medical than many people experience in a lifetime, but every time he amazes me with how ‘go with the flow’ he is. God only knows why he gave Josh and I our amazing little man. Maybe it was because I went through the hospital scene as a child or maybe the fact that Josh works at a pediatric hospital in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. When our adoption agency chose us to be his parents, God already knew the road these medical challenges would take us down.
Since Carson has been home from the NICU, we have been met with new challenges one right after another. Having a child is a blessing and hard work at the same time. But when you have a child that has some form of special needs, be it physical, developmental delays or just medical needs, it can be a real challenge to know how to meet your child’s every need. Many times your priorities completely change because of their special needs.
If you are a mom that has one of these little blessing, you know how scary it can be when they are not hitting the milestones on time like all of the other babies. I’m certainly guilty of this. I will raise my hand and say that the first year after having Carson home form the NICU I was reading everything I could get my hands on – books, blogs, even my old childhood development textbooks from college. I’ve thought of things from healthy blood sugar levels to if the other children in his classroom will make fun of him. And I so badly want to take all the doctor appointments, therapy sessions and the tests away. But as I plead with the Lord for these things, He has reminded me time and time again that He is making him stronger – more powerful.
Carson was born in October but we didn’t know anything about him until that December. When we met our son for the first time, he was just four pounds at two months old. We knew that he was likely to have some medical needs. From the time he was born in October through December, our adoption agency was the acting guardian and, during that time, named him David. One of the most well-known stories in the world is the story of David and Goliath. As we all know, David was a young boy who enlisted to fight a huge giant. There are days where I know that the name that they gave Carson for those two months was perfect for his circumstance. David wasn’t afraid to face that mean old giant and neither was Carson. And Carson continues to battle his giant when facing all of the medical issues he has today. God was with David when he killed his giant, and God is there for Carson all the same.
As I was complaining about a long list of doctor appointments for Carson one day, my mom reminded me that if I didn’t have congenital heart disease our paths would have never crossed with the amazing doctors that took care of me. And the doctors who cared for me were ministers to me – as much as any other ministry.
My mom was right.
What if God placed us in these situations to pray for the doctors, nurses and therapists who are caring for sick children? Or to pray for the other families that also have children who are sick and in the hospital. Yes, we are really tired of going to appointments – speech therapy, scans, specialty visits, referrals, etc. But when I was growing up, I thought it was normal for everyone to see a cardiologist, neurologist and many others. I called them my hospital family. And I know that those nurses, doctors and other care givers that my family interacted with had needs of their own. They had hard days just like we did. Just like we do.
I’m truly grateful that, through Carson’s medical struggles, we have the opportunity to pray for those caregivers and hope that we can be a light to them in their difficult days.