Another year has come to an end and a new year begins again for us. Who does New Year resolutions anymore? Maybe you still do. The definition of ‘resolution’ is a firm decision to do or not to do something. I like to think resolutions are about successfully taking action over a habit that you have been doing for a long time.

Like in all the years in the past, I’m sure this month will be filled with all the morning shows talking and talking about resolutions and then all of the resolution talk will disappear again until next January.

I have heard it all; from losing weight, more time reading, no more TV and so on. I think all of those things are good, but I would challenge you to think about how are you are spending each of your days with your children and/or your spouse. Are you on your phone looking to alleviate boredom when you should be working on a deeper relationship with your family and your friends and all the other people around you? Or maybe having a meal while visiting with your family instead of again, looking constantly at your phone.

Confession to make: I have been the woman in church or bible study looking at my phone instead of paying attention to what the Lord was speaking to me.

Lately, the Lord has been convicting my heart about how much I look at my phone and social media during the day while my son is awake. The question of ‘why am I doing this’ has been on my mind as I scroll on my phone more than ever before. Why am I looking to escape from my life, even for just a little while? Why am I staring at things instead of focusing on my job as Carson’s mom and Josh’s wife, and the call God has on our life? This is time when my son needs me more than ever before. I don’t want to look up one day to see Carson has completely grown up while I was staring down at my phone. I want to have genuine relationships and make great memories with the ones that I love so much. And I don’t think I can do that while looking at my phone. I’ve got to put it down.

I’ll be honest, sometimes I think looking at my phone helps me escape a hard reality I’ve come to learn and need to better face: sometimes it’s really hard to be a stay at home mom. Wait, no, it’s almost always hard. And somehow I’ve lost my identity to the crazy world of motherhood. I think that you have to be in the middle of raising children to understand the sacrifices it takes to have a child. All of my girlfriends that I’ve had since high school or college either work and have children, have no children and work or live far away. I’ve found a lot of loneliness as a new mom but a desire to live life to the fullest as well.

Maybe it’s been easy for you to find mom groups. As for me, it has been difficult to find other women that want to spend time with me and my son. I have a couple of groups at church but most woman have very busy lives. Sometimes I think about going back to a full-time 8 to 5 job, but I really love the freedom of making my own schedule. I’ve been grateful for the last two years that the Lord has given me to spend time with my son. But I want more than diaper changes and nap times. So, what in my next chapter of life?

Over the new year, I want to read more than I did last year for my personal and professional growth. I want live in the present moment with my son and spend more time playing, going to the park or for walks. I want to try to have a healthier diet. I want to learn how to be a better cook and make great dishes for my family and friends. For the last two years, I have wanted to start my own garden in our backyard. This year, I’m going to actually do it.

For all the things I want to do, there is something I’m going to stop doing: doubt myself. I want to live my life in such a way that I won’t one day look back with regret.

What about you? What would you like to do differently over the new year? What are your resolutions? Make sure and leave a comment below.

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